Journal

Today was a very ordinary day. It was Valentine’s day, and although I had been resolute to wake up in time for the gym, I woke up horrendously late at 8 am. Gradually, I lost all hope to do anything productive and just slogged through the day with cheap entertainment.

Then, suga asked me if I’d watch a movie with her in the afternoon. We watched a movie about high school romance and stuff, and suddenly it was the first 14th february I was having a movie date with someone. Coronavirus has been less unfair to me in that way, I fancy. I slogged through the other half of the day with some more cheap entertainment, a bit of my usual cycling for the day to the railway station and back. The train was passing through and in that moment, I think I was reminded of something from the anime “5 centimetres per second”. It was a very fleeting moment but it did feel otherworldly, like a series of moving frames. I pestered my suga late night into watching about time with me, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Dare was that last one to the movie’s s sissy and she is the one then. Good night!

Scribbles slash one point zero zero

I am losing on my own i don’t know why. I am locked down in this crushing silence of hopelessness. These unknown disturbances have swayed me to the symphony of self destruction. Will I ever rise again from this pit? I don’t know. I do not wish mercy nor do I wish any salvation. I hopelessly keep on praying and praying to the Lords below to take me away from this venomous colloseum. The earth keeps on trembling below me. It won’t let me stand up and seems hellbent on bringing me down.

I do not wish mercy papa. I do not deserve it.